On the Trips to Kansas

Growing up, my family would often take road trips to Kansas to see family. My Mother and Grandmother were born in Kansas so most of my Mom's family was there, including my Great Grandmother.
My family and Grandparents would caravan all the way there. My Grandparents in their big red conversion van, and my parents in our white minivan. As a little girl it was obviously more fun to ride with Grandma and Grandpa. Grandma definitely spoiled us and would bring lots of snacks, candies and drinks. Including mud tea, a family variation of lemon tea, which tasted delicious but made for very frequent potty breaks.
When we would finally get to Kansas we would stay at Great Grandma's house, in her finished basement. Two things I always remember about her house are her grandfather clock and her old TV in the basement. The grandfather clock would play a song on the hour and always startled me because I wasn't used to it. The TV downstairs was old, really old. One particular trip we took we watched a documentary on a type of ant that could kill humans. It scared me so badly I had nightmares and didn't want to watch TV for a while. I was also skeptical of all ants for a while, just to be on the safe side.
We always had fond memories of staying with Great Grandma Stucky. She loved to bake and cook, even in her old age. As per our tradition, every trip we took to visit her, at least one day she would make sugar pancakes for breakfast. A thin crepe that we would lay out on our plates, literally coat in sugar, roll up and eat. Okay so they weren't the healthiest option, but it was tradition and they tasted amazing.
And you can never leave Kansas without stopping at a little German buffet called the breadbasket. It's only fitting that a German family like and eat German food, and this was the best place to get it! All your favorite, traditional German food in one buffet. I can remember most of the family getting together and sitting in the back room of the restaurant, casually offending everyone around us because of our noise. It's hard not to offend other people when most of the people in the family "yell-talk" which means their "normal" speaking tone is a yell. And screaming is just raising your voice a little bit. I'm so sorry to anyone who ever got stuck near our tables...
Good thing they're family!!

Why I Choose to be a 1950's Wife

There was an article entitled "The Good Wife's guide"  published in 1955 in Housekeeping Monthly. In the article the writer gives wives and mothers practical advice and thoughts on "how to". Simple ideas on keeping your home radiant and your husband happy. Ideas such as, preparing meals, showing interest in his hobbies and ideas, keeping a clean and organized house, and many others.

This article, and many others like it, have been labeled quite harshly in today's feminist society. The idea of a woman serving a man by cooking his meals, doing his laundry and cleaning up the mud he tracked in is frowned upon. Women have come too far in this country to continue living life playing second fiddle to unrighteous, ungrateful men. Relationships should be 50/50, not 100/0!

The way our relationships were never meant to be 100/0 or even 50/50. If the relationship is 100/0, the spouse doing all the work will continually struggle. In the 50/50 relationship, both parties will only be dedicated to half of what they're capable of. After all, each spouse will still have 50% of themselves they aren't dedicating to the relationship. The intended relationship between a husband and wife was meant to be a partner for life, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. How can a partner only be dedicated to 50%? Both partners were meant to give 100%. That doesn't mean the wife meets the husband halfway or vice versa, it means when one spouse does something foolish, needs more help than usual, is struggling, etc. the other spouse's immediate response is to go above and beyond, doing more than their "normal requirements". 

God's original design for husbands and wives is simple. 

Wives: Tit 2:4-5  "...the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

Husbands: Eph 5:23, 28-29  "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior...In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,"

God instructs Wives to be workers at home, tending daily chores and the kiddos, while the Husband is to go out and work to provide for his family. God created this design in the very beginning with Adam and Eve in Genesis 3.

This design in no way is meant as an offense or insult to women because they "aren't allowed to work" (which God never says and is not wrong) and are supposed to stay home. This design was created for many different reasons including one reason which no one can argue: Women are typically more tender and loving. It makes sense for them to tend to children and minor details on the home front, because they care more.

Now what about the verse that says men are "the head of women"? It's easy to get hung up on that since, um, no one wants someone else ruling over them. Especially someone who isn't as loving as a woman. Doesn't it make more sense for the women to be in charge if they can oversee minor details and plan better? 

The first thing that needs to be addressed is later in the next few verses it says "husbands should love their wives as their own bodies" What does it mean for someone to love someone as their own bodies? The Greek used a lot of different words for love to put it in it's proper context. They used different words to mean romantic love, brotherly love, love for God, etc. The Greek word used in Eph 5:28 is an Agape love. This means love at it's finest. Ultimate love, a self-sacrificing love. This is the type of love God has for His children. A never ending, never fading, ever present, abounding love. Do people tend to be this way towards themselves? Sure. Not in a conceded or narcissistic way, but in a way that we are going to care for our bodies to keep them healthy and safe. Why else would humans try so hard to avoid dangerous situations? Well, we know our bodies could get harmed or we might even die so we act with enough love to steer clear of danger. So now we know that when the verse says "...love their wives as their own bodies" it means a fine, self-sacrificing love as though to protect and care for.

If husbands truly are doing what's right and trying their hardest to have this love (which is their job) the sentence "..the husband is the head over the wife" isn't so upsetting anymore. If someone honestly cared for you that much, and treated you with that much respect, it would be nice to have them looking after you and guiding you in important, difficult situations. It would almost be like having a guard dog. The level of a wife's trust towards her husband, when he is acting in such a loving, tender way, should be so high that she is completely content with his role of leadership.

In Titus 2 Paul is explaining that the older women should teach the younger women how to be keepers of the home, good mothers, meek, etc. This implies that the older women should be well versed in the ways of the home and raising children. This in turn implies that the women must've been doing these things all along. Mothers taught their children, they grew up and taught their children, and on and on it goes. We see many examples of women who work to teach their children and keep meals on the table (Luke 10:38-40; Proverbs 31; Gen 18:6; Ruth) 

In Gen 18:6 when Abraham asked Sarah to make cakes for their guests, did she whine and say "do it yourself."? Judging by the fact that she calls Abraham her Lord in verse 12, I think not. Abraham knew he could count on Sarah's readiness to help, otherwise he could've asked one of many servants to complete the task. 

The example of the wife in Proverbs 31 is probably who most wives wish they could be like. The list of tasks that she accomplishes seems to go on forever, and nowhere does it mention her ever complaining. In verses 11-12 it says "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life." By helping her husband, and giving her 100% her husband is happy and has a trust in her. 

There is a trend in human nature that is hard to avoid. When someone does you good, don't you naturally want to do good back to them? Do you think it was easier for the husband in Proverbs 31 to love his wife (like we described earlier) after he saw how much she was doing for her family? How could he not? And she will be lifted up and glorified by her husband's love, pushing her to continue doing more in her work for her family. 

My husband works as a laborer sometimes for more than 12 hours a day. He works hard all day, comes home and is, of course, very tired. Since I have made the choice to follow the example of a homemaker the Bible has explained in detail, when he comes home he knows he doesn't have to worry about doing a load of laundry, or fixing dinner. Even if we only have sandwiches or leftovers, at least he doesn't have use what power he has left to think about it. 

Are men righteous? No. Are women righteous? No. Sorry, no matter how much we push women's equality, women will never be righteous. No one will be. Both women and men have jobs to do that the Lord has established. It's not hard to understand, and certainly nothing to be ashamed about. I choose to treat my husband like a king and serve him to the best of my ability not because he deserves it, or is righteous, but because I made a promise to God that I would honor him and be loving towards him. Even if I were being treated unjustly, even if I never got a thank you, my servitude towards my husband is practice for my servitude towards my God. Just like a good old fashioned 1950's wife.