Dear Sarah,
Let me start off this letter by saying, you have such an incredible life ahead of you. You may know May 23rd as just another day or as your parent's anniversary, but later in life you will know it as your own anniversary. Right now October 4th may just be another day, enjoying the nice fall weather and watching the leaves change, but one day you'll know it as your firstborn daughter's birthday, and those days will never be the same.
But be patient. You will not wake up one morning and have a loving husband and a family in a home that you've striven so hard to make pleasant. Along the course of many years, every decision you make will bring you closer to this end. And it will take many years.
You must remember to take a step back at important times. Your life is just fine. And your mother is not ruining it. You really don't have anything to be "stressed out" over. Be grateful and enjoy living with few cares and making memories with the people around you, it will make a great impact on who you become as an adult.
Don't worry. Look at your situation through someone else's eyes. Get out of your head and observe your surroundings from an aerial view. Remember that whatever is happening now, most likely will not matter in 5 years. The trivial things we choose to get stuck on have little to no impact on our end goal in life; and yours should always be to please God. Learn to take a deep breath and slow down, it can really help during these difficult situations.
The man you choose to spend the rest of your life with will teach you many things you don't know that you need to be taught. On your own, you believe you have a good sense of humor, a good grasp on your faith and an idea of the path you want for your life, and you do. But he will teach you to think and come to conclusions by using your own mind and resources. He challenges the things you do just because it's "how you've always done it". He is not pushy, angry or even stern. He asks questions and listens for answers, and hopefully you will learn from that example. An example is exactly what he is for your life. He has no idea what kind of impact he makes on your life, and most nights you go to bed admiring him for his choices and personality.
Schedules don't matter. You should always try to be on time, and even early (especially to work), but don't pressure people or yourself to keep to some kind of schedule. Other people don't care nearly as much as you think they do. And, in fact, others will enjoy a relaxed version of you much more than the you who gets upset because of a schedule you laid out in your mind, and the day didn't go according to that schedule. Realize this now because if it continues into adulthood, it will be a terrible pill to swallow when you have kids.
And speaking of kids, you still want big family. Your first baby is an absolute joy and being a Mom is so great. She has only fueled your fire to have several children. Hopefully your hubby is ready for a house full of kids! (He is).
Let me end this letter by saying don't worry about who you are. You are doing just fine. All the decisions you are making now are turning you into the best version of you possible. Keep that end goal in your mind, always. Think, then act. Listen, then speak. Be patient, then go.
Love,
Sarah
