Throwing a 40th Birthday Party!

Depending on the person, birthday parties can be a lot of fun... or really awkward. But what about an over the hill Birthday party? Here are some recent ideas I came up with from throwing a 40th birthday party for a good friend! (And by the way, I just couldn't wait until he turned 40 to throw the party so we celebrated his 40th birthday a whole year early! When he turned 39!)

Obviously you want to roast your friend, but hopefully they will walk away thinking it was funny enough to forgive you after a few years... But you also want to involve your guests too. For a good party you typically need games, food and gifts!

Games!

There are so many options for games at parties. They don't have to be related to the type of party you are throwing if you think one game would be really fun for the group. However there are options for over the hill games, too! 

• Walker races: Get two walkers and have people race across the room (hobbling and stumbling like they were really over the hill) put on a scarf, insert hearing aids, swallow "arthritis pills" or whatever else you can think of. First one to complete their tasks and make it back to the start, wins!
• Pin the diaper on the old man: This game works just like pin the tail on the donkey. However you can change what you're pinning to what depending on how mean you really want to be.
• Bobbing for dentures: Fill a bucket or large bowl with water and have rubber dentures floating in the water. Have guests bob for the dentures and put them in their mouths without using their hands!
• I've even heard of some people reading a Eulogy!! Talk about mean!

Food!

We were not as mean as we could've been. Making a cake in the shape of a casket or tombstone is totally acceptable....

We made dirt cake (http://allrecipes.com/recipe/223415/dirt-pudding/ ) And put a sign in it like so....

(it reads: Older than dirt! cake) How could we resist?? To be honest, at least our real birthday cake looked somewhat normal.... Notice the small tombstone in the lower right hand corner.

Very similar to Halloween foods (gross lady fingers, kitty litter cake etc.) you can have a lot of fun with the foods! With custom foods like prunes, "baby food" (easy on the dentures) etc. Something else you can do is look up recipes from the depression era or earlier and recreate the recipe, because after all, that's about the time frame of when they were growing up, right?? ;)

Gifts!

Here's where you can really roast the person. There are so many ideas!

• Coke bottle glasses: Cut the bottoms of two plastic coke bottles off and connect them side by side with glue. Then take two straws and glue them to each bottle for the arms of the glasses.
• General "over the hill" items: Denture cleaner, beano, denture cream, prune juice, diapers, preparation H, Magnifying glass, crossword puzzle, hearing aid batteries, baby food, arthritis pills, fan (for hot flashes) and so many more! This are just a few random things. Honestly, if you just walk around the dollar store you'll get many more ideas than just these!
• 40th birthday survival kit: For this one I took a plain basket with a small chalk board on the front on which I wrote "40th kit" Inside were the following: Prune juice, polygrip, beano, denture cleaner, magnifying glass & crossword puzzle book, paperclips (to hold it together) and glasses. Also included in this "kit" were "anit-aging" pills (really just M&M's and arthritis pills) in a pill box with a note on an index card that read "Anti-Aging Pills: Dosage: under normal circumstances take one per day. In EMERGENCIES (like yours!) consume all at once! I also had an "Anti-depression kit for the big 4-oh!" with a note on an index card that read: 

A penny, so you'll never have to say "I'm broke!"

An eraser, so you can make all your mistakes disappear

A rubberband, to stretch yourself beyond your limits

A string, to tie things together when everything falls apart

A battery, so you always have energy &

A marble, for when you lose yours!

And inside a small box, with the note taped to the top, I put one of each of the items listed above.

• Other items for gifts might include old-style curlers (if it's a woman), canes or walkers or just any funny gift you can think of! My Uncle hand-crafted a cane with the number 40 in it for my Dad's 40th. Now talk about skill!

Now as for decorations, oh boy did I have fun! Obviously, black should be your color of choice. I used black balloons with "40" all over them, blew them up and hung them from different places, or just had them floating around. Black streamers went around windows and hung from the ceiling. Black table cloths were on the tables as well as caution tape that read "CAUTION: 40th birthday in progress". I decorate the birthday boy's chair with black ribbon, streamers and balloons. Had black confetti on some of the tables and the cake table. And! I had street signs with street names like wrinkle way, arthritis ave., crabby corner etc. It was so much fun! 

And, in an attempt to make something a little more "serious" I took a foam poster board, cut it into a large 4 and 0 and printed several pictures of memories, in black and white, and glued them to the 4 and 0 and hung them with ribbon. It actually turned out really good, even the birthday boy seemed to like it!

 And this, I know, will be the cheesiest thing of all. Seeing how this WAS a surprise party, I had to put a note on the door for everyone to read when they came strolling in the door about 30 minutes before the birthday boy. And, being the person that I am, this could not be just a normal note...
In case you cannot read it, it says:
Let's let John know what this party is about! 
We'll let him know with a GREAT BIG SHOUT!
We won't be hidden, just out in plain sight. 
This should help reduce the old man's fright. 
At 11:30, John's due to arrive. 
By then everyone should be well inside. 
Once through the door "SURPRISE!" we will yell!
"It's your 40th birthday party!" 
To him we shall tell...

And that pretty much sums up in a nutshell this over the hill party!
These are just a few ideas that might help you decide on what to do or what to use, or may help spark a few ideas of your own. Over-all, I'd say our party was a roasting success.

Are You Respectful?

As a wife I know sometimes it truly is hard to show respect. And sometimes, I may think I'm being perfectly respectful, but I'm not. Everyone views respect in a different way. Whether it's by someone listening, taking interest in the same things, or just simply being kind and thoughtful. From my short time of experience, my Husband does not think I'm being respectful when I don't listen to him or I contradict what he says (mind you this does not mean having a difference of opinion, but rather trying to tell him a better way to do something versus what he' suggested.)
Now we all know there are a few common ground rules to being disrespectful; rolling eyes, not paying attention when someone is speaking, being mean or hurtful with our words or trying to be totally controlling, but does your talent of respect go beyond that? Or do you just plateau at those common rules? Here are a few things that could be taken as disrespectful and some helpful ways to work around them!

1. Not showing respect by not showing interest
Not everyone has the same likes or dislikes. Especially with people in relationships, opposites do tend to attract! My husband loves to nerd out about video games, outdoor activities and taking things apart just to put them back together again! I don't necessarily care for most of these things, especially since they are way out of my league. However, one thing I know he appreciates is when I take the time to listen to him talk about the things that he likes and ask questions. When I show him that I'm listening to something he's saying to me about something that he truly likes or appreciates, it lets him know that I care and I want to take the time to give him attention. And, after all, it does work two ways. When I want to tell him about this "awesome sale" where I got these "great new shoes" and he doesn't listen, I don't appreciate it. It's the same with something he wants to share too. 

2. Not showing respect by rolling your eyes
Yes, this one is a very well known sign of disrespect or disregard, but how often do we do this small task of rolling our eyes back? It usually goes without being noticed or maybe you even do it "without realizing it". When someone is telling us something we don't want to hear, why do we normally turn up our nose at it or take offense? Because they step on our toes. Typically the reason that our toes get stepped on is because there's something in our life that someone is trying to address, and we don't want to hear it. While rolling our eyes will get the message that "we don't want to hear it" across, it also shows that we are not mature enough to hear someone out when they are trying to act in our best interest. 

3. Not showing respect by doing our own thing
When someone we love gives us advice that they truly mean in a loving way to try to help us live our lives to the best of our ability, and we blatantly ignore that advice, we are showing disrespect. Especially if we agree to follow the advice and then go back on our word. It's one thing if the advice is totally off course or just plain bad. But that's not the kind of advice I'm talking about. I'm talking about advice where someone understands you may have a problem, or an area in which you need help and offer their guidance, but you are too stubborn to care and show that you are grateful for their help.

4. Not showing respect by insisting we are right
Even if we may have the better idea, even if we may have the logical plan, or even if we are 100% sure we know we are right. A lot of people feel disrespected if they are trying their hardest to complete a task, or do their best at something and you continue to insist that you are right or have the better way/idea. Most times it's best to submit your idea or thoughts once, and not again unless it is asked for. Here's a scenario: My husband is a student and I work full time. It's irritating to my husband because he wants to work to provide for me, but he can't just yet. Because I work in the financial field, it's usually my duty to handle our finances and budget things. When he comes up with an idea to help us gain some extra money, or save a little here or there, he's trying to act in the best interest of our family. He racked his brain for this idea because he wants to help me as I am our only provider. Now, his financial strategy may be to invest $50 in Jimmy's happy hot dog factory, with expectations of a very large return, but should I absolutely deny his idea? No. While I may firmly state that I don't think Jimmy's happy hot dog factory really looks like a prime business for us to invest in, most times it's better to let him be satisfied in knowing that I am willing to accept his help and ideas for our family. 

5. Not showing respect by insisting that we know "what the other person meant"
How many times do you 'think' you know how a person really meant something? I can't tell you how many times I've heard couples say this. "I didn't mean it that way." "Yes you did."
What?? The only person who knows how it was meant is the person who said it. Period. You may have taken something one way, when it was meant another, but it is not your place to insist on the way something was meant. If it was truly hurtful, and you think it's worth mentioning, just talk about it. Tell the other person that it really didn't seem like it was meant the way the intended. And if you think you can't communicate this to the other person, then something is seriously wrong with your communication. 

These are just a few things that can be taken as disrespect and some ways to handle them. Obviously the only way to really find out what someone will take as respect or disrespect is to communicate. Because everyone can take respect differently it's never a good idea to expect that someone else feels respected by the same things you do. Everyone is different!