"I want to say Thank You." A Letter to My Labor and Delivery Nurse

*WARNIING:* This birth story gets gross

As a first time mom-to-be, I obviously had no idea what I was doing. I was curious and excited. Ready to just let me body do whatever felt natural. I had never even stayed overnight at the hospital so I didn't have a clue what was proper hospital "etiquette".

Let's back up to a few months before giving birth. 

I had done a lot of research on what kinds of things I wanted to bring with me to the hospital. Things for myself, our new baby and for my husband. How many changes of clothes would I need? How many snacks can we fit in the front pocket of the duffel bag? And WHERE is the Bluetooth speaker charger?? Well of course I packed a change of clothes for each day I would be there (plus probably one extra for if I wanted to look "cute"), a speaker so I could listen to my music while giving birth, plenty of my own snacks, a yoga mat, tennis balls, slippers & flip flops and the list goes on. I was a true first time mom. Now let's talk about what my hospital stay was actually like. We got to the hospital around 5am. In triage I was immediately asked to get into a hospital gown so they could examine me. I was stripped of all the clothes I had on, except my bra. After examining me they asked me to walk around to bring labor along. I walked through the hospital with my hospital gown attempting to flap open in the back. My mucus plug fell out while I was walking around and was dripping down my legs. At the time, I was standing outside the floor bathroom waiting for Luke to finish up. As soon as I felt the moistness on my leg, I frantically knocked on the door and told him to let me in. 

Then, around 7am, we finally got into a room. One of my nurses was around my age, engaged and had no children. By 9am, she had already seen most of me exposed, listened to me moan and make sounds like a buffalo and much other grossness. I tried to make small talk with her in between contractions.
"Where are you getting married?"
"Do you want to have kids one day?"

This poor girl, why was she here to be tortured watching me go through this terrible pain? To see me so exhausted I was bobbing like Stevie Wonder during contractions? How could she want to have children after watching other women go through labor?

While pushing, she had to help me count through the contractions, hold my legs and hand and clean up anything that was getting messy. She was not the one going through this nerve-racking but exciting life change, she had no connection to me or my family and yet she stood by my bed telling me "You're doing great!" and offering warm smiles.

For two hours she stood by my bed repeating those things, placing cool washrags on my face and warm rice bags on my tummy. On her feet. With nothing to eat or drink during that time. 

When Hazel finally emerged, it was her job to help clean up, check the baby, rub the baby off, etc. And after Hazel had been born, eaten and was weighed I had to pee so badly. And she was the one who helped me to the bathroom. I was so tired, so sore and in so much pain. I had to pee like never before. It was the first time in 9 months that I could finally EMPTY my bladder! And she had to hold up my bare, wobbly body and help me to the toilet. She had to stay by my side and let me lean on her while I struggled to sit down. She had to teach me how to dab, spray and use the special ice-pack pads. She was a young woman, who, instead of experiencing this for the first time during giving birth to her own child, she was helping other young women during their experiences. She patiently explained how things worked, didn't bat an eyelash at how naked I was, reminded me constantly of what a wonderful job Luke and I did and selflessly gave up everything for two hours to watch me go through the biggest change of my life. 

Thank you for being a patient, caring and kind woman, even at your young age.  Thank you for helping my experience be as lovely as possible. Thank you for the long hours you devote to the people you are caring for.

I started this post by talking about the things I thought I would need in the hospital to end with this:

I didn't use most of the things I packed. The Bluetooth speaker was playing in the background, but I couldn't hear it. I didn't need several changes of clothes and I was too sick to eat any of my snacks while going through labor. I didn't even touch my yoga mat. And I was too sore to walk around so there was no need to bring both slippers and flip flops. What really mattered was support. I didn't have a Douala, a coach (a decision of frugality) or even my mom with me. But what I did have were some really awesome nurses. And that made a huge impact.